Do Not Do What He Did
by Donny
(Milford, NJ, USA)
I was a bridesmaid recently where the best man seemed to have not prepared a speech at all, even though he had written a 7-page speech (more like a sermon???). Anyway, the Best Man stood in front of about 70 people and did the following:
- He spoke way too fast---Do not speak fast and speak clearly into the microphone. This goes for ANY speech you'll ever give. People want to understand what you're saying, and you'll only feel dumb if a joke you told goes without laughter because no one can understand what you're saying.
- He told inside jokes that were way too inside. No one but the bride and groom understood them, and even then sometimes even they didn't get it. Please, if you're going to be funny, be funny so everyone can laugh. It's very awkward for only the couple to be chuckling when everyone else is looking confused.
- He went on and on about "remember the time when," and no one remembered! Again, you're supposed to give a toast, not a stroll down memory lane where not one person has any idea what you're talking about. It's also very important to keep any stories PG unless it's all adults present, and even then, Grandma doesn't want to hear about how her grandson got stuck at 5 a.m. when the strip club closed because he left his keys in the lap dance room. The bride doesn't want to reminisce about that either.
- He also NEVER congratulated the bride and groom. Seriously? That's the whole point of your speech! The length doesn't matter, just remember to congratulate them and wish them luck on their journey together. Isn't that the whole point?